ICC allows bowlers to take performance enhancing drugs against Sehwag

ICC allows bowlers to take performance enhancing drugs against Sehwag:

Mumbai. Responding to an appeal signed by bowlers of various nationalities, ICC has allowed use of performance enhancing drugs by bowlers when bowling to Virender Sehwag. The governing body of cricket thought that it was in the interest of fairness and justice that the bowlers were given a level playing field when playing against Sehwag, else cricket could degenerate into a Sehwag’s game from a batsman’s game.

“We realized that while bowlers thought that they were playing against Sehwag, Sehwag thought that he was playing with the bowlers; it was getting too one-sided,” ICC chief Sharad Pawar told Faking News.

Pawar said that he had received an appeal by a group of bowlers on Friday, a day after Sehwag scored 219 runs in an ODI against West Indies. Bowlers allegedly said that they were traumatized to see the Indian batsman cross all the limits of decency and not show any respect to any bowler.

Virender Sehwag

Sehwag watching his bat after hitting a six, and wondering why did the ball not go out of the stadium.

The appeal was signed by 32 bowlers of all nationalities, including IPL loving Indian bowlers, and was led by Shahid Afridi, who claimed that he saw the legs of West Indian bowlers trembling while facing Sehwag.

“Trembling legs while running up to bowl to a batsman like Sehwag can cause grievous injuries to the bowlers,” Pawar noted, “Hence we decided to allow them to take medical help. They had asked for performance enhancing drugs, as nothing less than that could help them, to which we agreed after much deliberations.”

Sources tell Faking News that ICC allowed the use of performance enhancing drugs to bowlers as Sehwag had tested positive for a rare drug during the dope test after his double-century. A high level of Tendulkaroid, also known as the god steroid, was found in Sehwag’s blood samples.

“After hours of examination, the doctors concluded that it was a natural formation and Sehwag seems to be producing it of his own. He couldn’t have bought it as that drug is not available even with the shrewdest of the drug peddlers in Mexico,” our source informed, “Based on this information, ICC decided to allow bowlers to take drugs so that they could match Sehwag.”

However ICC has put some conditions while using such drugs. They can be taken by a maximum of two bowlers per team per innings only after Virender Sehwag crosses 50 in a match. Umpires will keep these drugs in their pocket and bowlers can request injections before bowling to Sehwag.

The new rule will come into effect from the next match between West Indies and India at Chennai on Sunday. Sources tell Faking News that West Indies bowlers are already practicing on drugs as Ravi Rampaul was seen moonwalking and singing “Why this kolaveri di” in the hotel lawn, something experts believe was a side effect of some drug.

Possibly Related News:
  1. Cricketers in doping scandal, took performance reducing drugs on West Indies tour
  2. IIM cancels admission to student who took CAT on performance enhancing drugs
  3. Astrologers hail Randiv for denying 13th century to Sehwag
  4. BCCI to use body doubles of cricketers to save them from burning out
  5. I saw Tendulkar running between wickets on a horse: Afridi

Pop Artists Support Megaupload; Universal Censors

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New submitter TheSHAD0W writes "Several well-known artists, including P. Diddy, Will.I.Am, Snoop Dogg and Kanye West produced a song in support of the site Megaupload, recently targeted by law enforcement as a 'rogue site.' The music video was gaining popularity — until YouTube received a takedown notice from Universal Media Group, claiming it violated their copyrights."

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Creamy Layer at 12 Lakhs

The National Commission for Backward Classes (NCBC) is contemplating relaxing the definition of creamy layer to include those with an annual income of less than 12 lakhs. Good for them. Who cares if the rich fill up all the reservations. After-all, the poor are unworthy of government favors, aren't they? The poor are incompetent, which is why they have remained poor. They don't deserve OBC quota at all. Sure the government is throwing them a few crumbs, but poor mongrels should be grateful and should not whine like rabid dogs. The country would be much better off eradicating the poor. Well, we should probably set up a ministry for eradication of stray dogs and poor people, as we know, we have fallen much behind on our plans on this. There should be a single ministry for both the tasks, as the strategies to be followed in both the tasks are not quite different.

M N Rao, of NCBC says that

stated that affirmative action revolves around 'social discrimination' and economic advancement alone cannot determine social advancement.
Well, I think he erred a little in calculating the full meaning of that hypothesis. I would suggest removing the income criteria on the ability to use OBC reservations. After all, don't our OBC industrialists and politicians need the reservations. They are socially backward as well, and they shall always remain so. Of course, we should never come up with a credible measure of measuring backwardness. But we have firmly established that income and social backwardness are not related. Perhaps we are a little wrong in that. We should probably amend the creamy layer rule and ONLY ALLOW people with income more than 1 crore a year to avail themselves of the OBC quota.

New MacDefender Defeats Apple Security Update

New MacDefender Defeats Apple Security Update: "XxtraLarGe writes 'Apple released a security update yesterday designed to rid Macs of the menacing MacDefender malware that has plagued users for nearly a month. But mere hours after the update, cyber-criminals released a new variant of the malware that easily defeated Apple's belated security efforts. That didn't take long.'

Read more of this story at Slashdot.


Dennis the Menace - 31 May 2011

Dennis the Menace - 31 May 2011: ""

Bus parade celebration for Swans

Bus parade celebration for Swans: "Thosuands of Swansea fans are expected to welcome home their Premier League promotion-winning heroes at an open top bus parade."


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Inexpensive ways to produce X-Rays

X-Rays can easily be produced by peeling tapes. :)
A patent is being applied for it. Read ahead.